Documentary: Ending the Stigma, Mental health in the Black community
Mental health and suicide prevention in the Black community are explored in the new NorthJersey.com documentary, “Ending the Stigma.”
WAYNE — Ella Shae is not her real name.
But the rawness that consumes each page of her memoir is undeniably honest.
It begins with a car crash on a leafy side street, and it ends with an epiphany. For the 145 pages in between, readers bounce from one traumatic event in chronological succession to the next.
Among the antagonists are an abusive boyfriend, a playground bully and a self-absorbed father. The author confronts the pressure of having to do drugs to click with the in-crowd in high school, and more than once, she is torn between life and death.
First, she aborts a pregnancy when her boyfriend turns his back on her. Years later, she alone makes a gut-wrenching choice on behalf of an ailing grandparent.
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Elisa D’Amelio, 41, now a proud mother of three and a township resident, said she hopes readers find something to relate to in her true story and that it inspires them to improve their lives.
“I didn’t want to sugarcoat anything,” she said. “I didn’t want to make anything seem better than it was.”
D’Amelio will discuss her memoir, titled “From Broken to Beautifully Broken,” during a virtual chat that the local library is hosting Monday to mark Mental Health Awareness Month.
It is part of a series of public appearances and speaking engagements that she lined up for the coming weeks.
On May 19, D’Amelio will be a guest of RWJBarnabas Health for an on-field recognition at a professional women’s soccer game at Red Bull Arena in Harrison.
The fanfare was never planned, she said.
D’Amelio taught fifth grade in Haledon, though she resigned from her position amid the pandemic. The ensuing feeling of isolation, combined with years of emotional trauma, manifested as an eating disorder. In March 2022, she was admitted to a treatment center to begin her recovery. A psychiatrist strongly recommended inpatient care, but agreed to partial hospitalization, allowing her to sleep at home.
Not until she sat in therapy sessions at that Somerville facility did she even start to release her bottled-up pain.
D’Amelio kept a journal, she said, and her entries formed the basis for the book. A lot of what sticks out in the memoir is anger, and in many cases, she appears to harbor guilt and heartbreak.
One of the most tragic episodes of the book is the roller-coaster pregnancy that she endured five years ago. She was initially elated to learn that she was carrying twins, but then devastated when she found out one died in utero. That is how she eventually came up with her pseudonym.
Ella Shae is the daughter she lost.
Toward the conclusion of the memoir, D’Amelio calls motherhood her “greatest accomplishment.” And for a person who went through so much, a happily ever after seems overdue.
“Being a parent is a lot of emotions,” she writes, “but looking back, I know I must have gotten something right. My kids are good people.”
The book is available for purchase on D’Amelio’s website, at ellashae.com, and at Barnes & Noble at Plaza 46, a shopping center on Route 46 west in Woodland Park.
D’Amelio said she is working with a different publisher to repackage the memoir for an updated edition on more platforms, including Audible, this summer.
Philip DeVencentis is a local reporter for NorthJersey.com. For unlimited access to the most important news from your local community, please subscribe or activate your digital account today.
Email: devencentis@northjersey.com
Upcoming event
D’Amelio will discuss her memoir, titled “From Broken to Beautifully Broken,” with patrons of the Wayne Public Library.
WHEN: Monday, May 13, at 7 p.m.
WHERE: This is an online event.
REGISTER: Visit the library website at waynepubliclibrary.org.